Unhinged Memoirs, Modern Retellings & Rogue Testes
Reviews: Powerless, If You Can't Take the Heat, Saltburn, Masters of the Air, Kingdom of Claw & The Gentlemen
The rat chatter has been quiet as of late because I am HUSTLING to finish my novel—the goal is to have a completed draft by the end of April. YES, you heard it here first, I am getting my shit together. (Not too much, don’t worry.)
When I’m not writing, I’m dabbling in an all-you-cram-story-buffet:
While I cook, I listen to Geraldine DeRuiter’s memoir If You Can’t Take the Heat (which got charbroiled by the NYT), and it’s hilarious. I especially enjoyed her proclamation of love for Red Lobster (specifically the cheddar bay biscuits) and argument for consuming all-you-can-eat shrimp when her husband suggests that nobody needs that: Orcas do. In yo face!
I am fascinated by her (horror) story of growing up in Florida (which we all know is a…special place), where they teach both perspectives of the Civil War. 👀 And if you’ve ever once evil-squinted at your love handles, this book is for you!
In three words, so far, If You Can’t Take the Heat is:
Funny (don’t read this book if you’re not)
Feminism (a source of power and sometimes shame)
Food (everything from mint toothpaste to matzo balls)
While I fold endless tiny pants and vacuum crumbs that reproduce like rabbits, I’m listening to Powerless by Lauren Roberts. This book was on my TBR for a long time, but what sold me on listening was a review that said something like ‘Powerless had me kicking my little feet.’ Sold.
I needed a rebound fling after I dramatically finished The Road of Bones audiobook and plummeted into DESPAIR—I’m 66% through book two, Kingdom of Claw, which is on Kindle Unlimited until May because this bad girl of a series* is getting trad published which means I’ll have blue lady balls until 2025 before this series picks up again. ðŸ˜
*I’ll give you a proper review of Kingdom of Claw when I’m finished sobbing and lusting over Rey, that fine hunk of Viking warrior. But I’m loving it as much, if not more, than The Road of Bones.
Powerless by Lauren Roberts is about a young woman with no powers living in a society where only those blessed with powers after a vicious plague are allowed to live. She makes a living as a thief and a sham psychic until she saves a prince’s life and ends up as a contestant in a competition that affords the winner riches—it’s giving Hunger Games vibes.
This book was initially indie-published before being picked up by a traditional publishing house. This story is becoming more common, and dare I say, a ballsy cheat code for skipping the querying trenches. (That’s not to say it’s easy, but I love that indie authors are getting recognition from the industry when they’ve proven themselves as storytelling powerhouses.)
So far, I’m entertained—and so are tens of thousands of readers, giving this a 4.29/5 on GoodReads. At times, the parallels to The Hunger Games are so similar that it pulls me out of this story. However, based on this book's high rating and buzz, I have high hopes that the story will swerve into its own lane and give me something unique to remember. That said, if you love The Hunger Games and magic, you’ll like this book, too.
My sometimes annoyance at the similarities between Powerless and The Hunger Games conjured an interesting thought: the book girlies love a fairy tale retelling—Beauty & The Beast, The Little Mermaid, Little Red Riding Hood, etc. So, how old does a story have to be to qualify for story retelling instead of being thrown into the fan fiction bucket? The Hunger Games is sixteen years old. Hans Christian Anderson’s The Little Mermaid was published in 1837, and the Disney movie came out in 1989, 152 years apart.
Thoughts?
Fan fiction isn’t anything to sneeze at, though. It is simply free fiction on the internet, and it’s launching careers—E.L. James famously started writing Twilight fan fiction before getting her 50 Shades of Grey deal. And Manacled by SeLinYu is Harry Potter alternate-ending fan fiction that took the internet by storm, created rabid fans (16M downloads, 71k reviews on GoodReads)—I have yet to froth over this one—and landed a trad publishing deal to be rereleased under a new title, Alchemised, in 2025 with Del Rey at Penguin Random House.
Last night, I watched Saltburn (again) because the hubs simply HAD to witness this movie masterpenis (if you know, you know.) My friend baited me into watching this movie with ZERO context, which is the only way, and I thought it was fascinating. But I walked away mildly unaffected (because I am alarmingly desensitized to sex and horror—send therapy?).
However, weeks later, I could not stop thinking about the film. It was cinematically gorgeous and thematically rich, and the acting was brilliant, but you don’t realize it until the end. The Easter eggs threaded throughout the movie are so well done that I didn’t notice many of them until I watched interviews with the cast and filmmaker Emerald Fennell (Promising Young Woman—loved) later on. TRIGGER WARNING: Sex things. Don’t watch with your parents, children, or priest.
Saltburn made me a Barry Keoghan fan. He’s Irish, so, what’s not to like? But seriously, he was good in Masters of the Air on Apple; he crushes red carpets, and I look forward to whatever he plays next.
My review of Masters of the Air with a MAJOR SPOILER ALERT:
It was cinematically stunning, but almost everyone died. So, be prepared for that. Tis’ a true war story, so, duh, Harmony, but dang—I was unprepared. The character development was a little lacking for me, too. If you like war stories, you’ll like this.
Lastly, The Gentlemen on Netflix is my bedtime lullaby. (Just kidding, I watch it with the hubs until he falls asleep, and then I read Kingdom of Claw until my eyes bleed.) A fine, upstanding, seventy-nine-year-old Westchester lady recommended this show to me, with the review: It was okay, kind of weird. I wouldn’t recommend it to everyone, but I’d recommend it to you.
Say no more; I’m in.
Theo James 🔥 (The Divergent girlies, know) plays an unintentional Duke, Eddie, who inherits his family’s castle and an illegal business engagement with the foxy, Suzy Glass (played by British actress Kaya Scodelario.) Eddie tries to get out of the business arrangement by getting more involved in the sticky-icky criminal activities, blood on his hands, and he’s enjoying it—a little.
The Gentlemen is funny, good times courtesy of Guy Ritchie (Snatch, RocknRolla, & Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels). If you’re kind of weird, like me, you might like it, too. The show is unhinged, and I don’t want to spoil it, but I’ll leave you with this trigger warning: a rogue testicle. And plenty of violence.
What are YOU reading and watching? Send weird recs!